robyn

oh, how i hated robyn back in ninety-five. i hated her with a passion. a year before my sweet sixteen, (such a misleading term by the way, at sixteen i cut my hair off, bought a pair of dr martins, and stopped being sweet), i was filled with contempt. i hated her nasal voice, i hated her cocky attitude, and i h a t e d her silver jacket.

to me, robyn sure wasn’t being sweet at sixteen either. her second single “do you really want me” became a huge hit in sweden and was the evil force that brought her into my life. the stupid song was everywhere and i just kept thinking that no, robyn, we don’t want you, and no, we don’t think you’re special. die.



ten years later i still held a grudge, but her new album “robyn” was deviously integrated into my life with a sneaky move by someone i trusted. and it grew on me. actually it did more than that; it grew into me. her whole attitude was more humble, she was musically more mature, and more often than not i felt like her lyrics were not only expressing robyn, but myself as well. some down to the very last syllable. i related. and she became real.



but even though robyn and i kind of made up a few years ago, it was quite the eyebrow-raising-event to find me at her stockholm concert last week. a good but in my opinion unnecessary cover of “cobrastyle” (originally performed by teddybears stockholm) followed the intro and started my battle over whether robyn is cool or just really annoying. the hits kept on coming, well performed, and sometimes in different and more interesting arrangements than i had heard before. but it wasn't until kleerup joined robyn on stage that the concert started for me. in “with every heartbeat” i could tell by the way she inhaled that she meant it. somehow that gave me room enough to accept the obnoxious side of her, and love a song like “jack u off”.



so - fine. she is cool. she has a confident attitude. she does her thing. and she doesn’t seem to give a fuck. no fear. this time i can respect that. but i need the small glimmers of reality, of depth, of hurt, in her - not to choke. i’m not over the silver jacket just yet.